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Jamie captures with great lucidity the feelings of a man who desires to submit but is married to a wife who may never been able to respond to those needs.
So if her wish is for me to forget about anything related to femdom, isn’t that what I as the submissive, should do? On the one hand, of course. On the other hand, of course not. Were I able to wave my magic wand and have had (or even just have from now on), no submissive thoughts, no frisson whenever a femdom topic came up, I’d probably do that. It certainly would make my life simpler, and femdom is not making my life more satisfying right now.
Right now, it’s making it more painful.
There is some scenario of the “perfect submissive” that makes submitting by not submitting perfect. For some reason, I’m reminded of an old Fassbinder movie, “The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant”, I don’t know why, or even if it’s relevant; I haven’t seen it in years. But regardless, I am not that “perfect submissive”, though I’m sure the story of one such would make a pretty good piece of art. I’m not a novelist either.
I tried “being cured.” I really think I gave that a good faith effort. Several thousand dollars worth of good faith effort, along with many many hours. Maybe therapy is a longer process than that, but that seemed to be all that was going to happen in my life, for time and money reasons.
And for a while, it worked. Why? Even at the time, I didn’t know. But for a year or so, while perhaps not totally gone (or perhaps so), this wasn’t around. It was neither a particularly good or bad year, as I dimly recall it.
But it’s been back for a while (four or five years) and I’m going with the theory that 40 out of the last 50+ years say more about my life than one does.
There as another moment in which being submissive went totally away. It was in the context of a very deep meditation experience, the details of which I won’t go in to. However during it, I heard the voice of the meditation teacher say, “I can take that away, you know. Do you want me to?” And for a split second, I say “Yes,” and I saw what my psyche would look like without being submissive.
And there was this huge hole. And I was terrified. I honestly and totally could not conceive of myself without this aspect of my persona. And I “ran” in the other direction.
I have always thought of that as gift that was offered me, that I spurned. But writing this, I’ve come to think of it more as a challenge that I was issued, that I couldn’t accept.
It is a moment of grace to be offered a “healing” without all the interior work that makes the healing happen from within. And it takes a certain kind of strength and faith to accept that healing. I’m honored that it was offered and disappointed in myself that I lacked the strength or faith it would have taken to accept it.
But that leaves me with having to do the work to build the foundation, and then the building, brick by brick, as it were, until that hole becomes filled and becomes part of what makes me stronger, rather than weaker, (at the risk of mixing metaphors…)
So how do I do that? It takes two to tango.
Notes on an Unremarkable Life
Originally posted 2006-08-17 14:43:55. Republished by Old Post Promoter
Strictly Female is a blog about the most strenuous practice of male orgasm supression that I’ve ever encountered.
Bridgette is one of those rare blog writers who provides a thorough profile:
I am a sexually dominant woman living on Long Island who keeps her husband and partners locked in steel chastity belts at all times. They are not allow to be masturbated or to have an orgasm. I enjoy keeping my partners in a constant state of extremely heightened sexual arousal while I am free to explore and satisfy my own sexuality. My husband and my partners must worship and serve me. I expect them to feel my sexuality in their minds and bodies as if it is their own. The closest they can come to experiencing sexuality of their own is through my body when they play with me and make me cum. Watching me orgasm while locked in a chastity belt is a very frustrating and fulfilling sexual experience.
Strictly Female
Originally posted 2008-02-18 23:56:08. Republished by Old Post Promoter
Stepford Hubby certainly has an interesting home life:
I confessed to Corrective Wife, in a moment of weakness, that I had developed an interest in face-sitting. This (for the gentle reader who is pure, as I once was) involves the man’s face becoming a seat cushion for his lady. At least, that’s the short version. For genuine aficionados — is that how you spell it? — there are nuances and subtleties. For instance, does the woman face the man’s toes, or the other direction? In one version, he gets a brown nose for all his trouble. You have to ponder, where exactly is his NOSE?
But I also confessed to swearing at work. It goes on all around me and frankly, I only use words I have heard on prime time television. But, my excuses were to no avail.
On arriving one evening after an easy day at the office, I was elated to hear that tonight would be the night, for face-sitting. Yes indeedy, I would lay on the floor and the little woman would put her entire weight on my face, taking care of course to see that I could breathe, but otherwise putting my soft, pink tongue to work.
What I had not counted on was her resolve, a couple of years ago, to “make all things erotic, punitive.”
Life in the corner
Originally posted 2006-10-18 09:40:29. Republished by Old Post Promoter
Profile of a personal journal of perversity:
I am a dominatrix and this is my private world.
My understanding and compassion have been given richness and depth by the hard breaking of my heart so that richer, stronger emotions could be tilled. I have been sustained and nurtured by the life giving, cleansing saturation of tears, both happy and sad. I am a whole woman now, no longer the wild youth in search of experiences to test myself against.
This blog is a diary of my resulting sanity.
A View From The Top
Originally posted 2006-05-18 05:37:53. Republished by Old Post Promoter
Again, not a blog.
This is not a recommendation: I’ve never used the service. But my impression is that they are reputable. $5.95 ebooks, lots of kinky stories and novels including soft and very harsh female domination.
E.g.:
A man may be subject to bizarre sex rituals of women deep in the Amazon rainforest; or he may find himself caged and a permanent prisoner until his captor finds a way to control him if she lets him out to be used and abused. An innocent night spent at a friend’s house might result in far more than he expected when she comes to his room late at night. A female filmmaker wanting to make a film of a man wrapped in plastic might, perhaps, suddenly think of other uses for him once he is completely helpless. You would have to agree that the man who volunteered to assist Susan with her public Sex Lectures was clearly misguided or, at the very least, misinformed about what was likely to happen.
A1AdultEbooks
Originally posted 2006-07-05 06:03:03. Republished by Old Post Promoter
Mistress V tells us a little about herself:
I am Mistress V, the girl your mother told you to stay away from, the result of years of Church school. See what happens when you tell a girl what she can and can not do? You get a Woman that is warped, sick, twisted, sadistic, sensual and manipulating. I do the kind of things other Women won’t. you know what I’m talking about – all those secret little kinks and fetishes you’ve got, the ones you can not share with other women.
The First time I was introduced to the D’s lifestyle was from a woman that happened to be My first sexual encounter with a female. She was very FEMDOM, she Dominated the hell out of Me. I had always been very bossy growing up and in charge. I loved to mess with the guys, and fucked with them bad, but did not know about Dom / sub anything. She taught Me so much about the kind of woman I am today. So in answer to the question have I ever submitted before Yes I have, I do not think you can be a good Domme if you do not know how if feels to lose control, I think you need to be in the other shoes, and yes I know some females do not agree with that.
I can honestly say I will not dish out what I can not take, Ha but I do have an EXTREME tolerance for pain so if you serve Me you better be able to take some pain as well, and yes I have a nice fondness for the males who will take pain for Me. Am I a switch? No, I have been there and submitted but I love control, and thats where I belong, in control.
Mistress V
Originally posted 2006-04-09 07:45:03. Republished by Old Post Promoter
Mistress Servalan writes of a client who enjoys strong corporal punishment:
I’ve had a few very new novices come in lately who’ve never seen a Mistress before – I always tell people when they ring me for an intro session that they should ring around and speak to a few different ladies before they decide who to see… there are heaps of Mistresses out there and not everyone is suited to every fantasy…
It’s always interesting when someone comes in with a specific interest as part of an intro session – recently that’s included my endurace bondage sub – but the other day I had a beautiful young man who wanted cross dressing as part of his first session. Well I must say he made a very beautiful girl! If a little bit of a slut – I dressed him in a lace corselette and then my “Playboy Bunny” costume… we even did full make-up and I have to say he looked completely different with wig, makeup and fabulous outfit!
Yesterday was a totally different session though it did involve some cross dressing – heavy discipline!
In particular an extreme caning… I don’t know how many strokes there would have been – but suffice it to say there were a LOT – the “naughty girl” commented that he could feel a light mist settling after each stroke 
Interestingly enough the Lochgelly Tawse was considered much more severe than the cane – but I think that might partly be because he’d not had it before so it’s a different sensation to the cane…
At the end the sub’s bottom looked like a murder scene! But as is so often the way – after a nice hot shower (using a pink towel instead of one of my fluffy white ones) it didn’t look too bad…
Mistress Servalan
Originally posted 2006-06-18 15:53:08. Republished by Old Post Promoter
I share some of Drakor66’s internal diversity. And like him I’ve been defeated by distance:
Having both a Male and female Dominant just drove my imagination wild I would have the best or worse of both worlds and type of domination. Except for on or two stumbling blocs on hard limits it all looked Rossie like except for a male playing the part of “o”. I imagined disappearing for a couple of weeks to construct the dungeon and serve the house but the distance shatter any reason to continue.
The cost of traveling would be high too much to all the frequentcy of my needs and surely the needs of the couple would most definitely be. They would not get the work they wished , they would not have me to show to their friends nor utilize me for more than viewing. All the really would have would be a vision of a man on a web cam displaying himself for their pleasure. Something that I think would get old quickly.
Last week after chatting with the Dom i was so enthusiastic I sent him a list of all my health issues and hard limits. He seemed to pass over them as it they really did not affect what he needed. Then i search for transportation and that was a shocker almost as expensive as longer trips to larger centers. Not having access to my own vehicle I realized that at best it would be a vacation from the vanilla world for a week or tow but I would not be able to duplicate the trip with any frequency. Some places in Quebec are very hard to reach from other places.
Dungeon Times
Originally posted 2006-06-08 15:01:39. Republished by Old Post Promoter
And we are ‘Femdom’! This term covers a variety and diversity of relationship between a man and a woman, but they have one thing in common, namely that the man chooses to submit areas of his life to a woman who has the superiority to dominate him in those areas. This enables them to function together in a relationship that is mutually fulfilling and successful, and is a lifestyle enjoyed by millions of couples throughout the world. Such a relationship is most meaningful and satisfying in a Christian marriage, where love, trust and commitment to Christ and each other permeates the Femdom aspects embraced by both partners, and to which both freely consent.
So how does this actually work out amongst us? In a diversity and variety of ways! For a start, husbands are told to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, which He did by serving and in giving His life. And so it is Biblical for a Christian husband to serve his wife as completely as possible, giving his life to that end.
And we are taught in the New Testament that submission should be mutual. And so, for some, the husband submits himself to his wife’s superior ability in the area of, say, finance, and let’s her control that aspect of his life to their mutual advantage. Others will rightly yield many areas of their lives to their wife’s superior ability, whilst some will seek to increasingly yield themselves completely to their wife in all areas.
And the variety and diversity will be apparent in the ways in which the wife is allowed and encouraged to express her superiority. Some husbands, if out of line in an area of marriage, will simply respond to verbal correction from their wife where necessary, to ensure the relationship proceeds successfully. Others however, will need, and accept, firmer correction involving physical punishment, which can be anything from a simple ‘token’ to severe correction. Various forms of bondage and teasing are others things enjoyed by many couples in Femdom marriages.
Christian Femdom
Originally posted 2006-08-21 04:45:12. Republished by Old Post Promoter
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