11/29, 2006
Breathing In and Breathing Out
It can easily be forgotten that we masochists have a responsibility to our partners that many people never suspect or understand:
I also have to take W’s feelings into account. It’s hard for her to grapple with the ways that spanking works for me. She wasn’t “into” spanking when we got together; she is often very uncomfortable with the role of disciplinarian. But neither of us would feel comfortable with me getting that need met by someone else, for many of the same reasons we struggle with figuring out what to do with the different parts of me. I mean, if a main reason we’re uncomfortable with spanking-as-discipline is that it’s too close to doing something sexual with a child, then going to someone else for a spanking is awfully close to infidelity.
And I often worry that the things I’m asking for aren’t fair, and that I should just learn to figure out other ways of coping. And, certainly, there is some of that in there. It’s not 100% W’s job to take on raising these kid-parts of me. But it’s not 100% not her job.
Breathing In and Breathing Out
