Lady Julia explains some of the psychology of D/s:
… I know there are submissives who are interested in submitting only to have their own needs met, but unless they seek out a pro Domme, most are going to search for a long term relationship with a Domme until they’re old and gray. You may be thinking, “well of course that’s true”, but you’d be surprised how many appear to think only of themselves and what they get out of it, thinking that of course some Domme will want to Domme them just because they will “let” the Domme flog them or constrict their genitals in some device. While we may want to do those things (smiles – not me, but some do), it’s not about pushing your sexual buttons for the sake of pushing the buttons . For most, it’s about the sense of controlling your body, mind, desires, and knowing that you want to serve and please them first and foremost. …
If my fella lets me know that he wants to do anything to please me and that MY excitement stirs HIS excitement, that MY pleasure gives HIM pleasure, then I’m going to be far more inclined to give him not only that but some of the other things he enjoys. I think that’s a natural response in a loving D/s relationship.
