Stephen Harris doesn’t maintain a blog but I do want to point you to his website. This is one of his essays:
Submission as a gift
My submission is a gift. I am submissive to only one person in this world. If any other dominant tried to ‘take’ from me, they would soon find their noses put out of joint.
My act of submission to Tori allows her to take whatever she wants from me. I offer it all freely. In return I trust and expect her to keep me safe and be considerate of my feelings and position, and to listen to me if I raise a question regarding her orders (eg wearing my collar at work could get me fired and thus deported from the US, which does neither of us any good… despite both of us wanting me to wear the collar!)
The name of the IC website is, IMHO, a very good name: Informed Consent. (I actually prefer this to Safe,Sane,Consenual). You can only take what is offered; that is the whole point of consensuality. This is not to say that you can’t push and push and take more than the submissive thought they were ever willing to give, but if you ever cross the line and take that which is not given then you are into abuse territory.
My Mistress knows that my submission to her is a gift; one she cherishes. In return I know her desire to dominate me is also a gift. We offer each other these gifts willing, happily, lovingly. They are expressions of our love for each other.
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