Strongnsubmissive writes of explaining his submissive needs to his wife:

I just reminded Bella that i was dedicated to this relationship, and to our happiness. She’s still unclear on why the sudden change, but i think she’s welcoming the idea herself as well. I think we both realize, that we’re at a point in our lives, where constantly reaching for that transparent carrot is futile effort. What Bella and i have is special, and if we can somehow deal with this sexual mismatch, this relationship would be close to perfect.

While we were chatting and looking over our shoulder for the boy to return, i did make a point of telling her that i was worried that her own sexual needs just might not be met by me. She seemed less concerned about that than i did.

The truth is, there is sexual attraction between the two of us, despite the obvious problem of D/s and vanilla. Figuring out what our sexual needs are, and how they are going to be met by each other is the obvious challenge. Bella has admitted, that she’s learning more about her own sexual needs and what she thought her needs were 5 years ago, has drastically changed today. I can say the same thing about myself as well. As the two of us begin to figure this out, i’m hoping that the actual needs between us, are closer to a match than they were 10 years ago, when we thought the chance of any match was zero.

I then tried to talk to her about my own sexual needs. I know i must have sounded like an idiot, but i think i managed to get some of my motivation across to her. I told her that it was obvious to me, that i needed D/s in my life to sate my own sexuality. But instead of falling into the obvious pitfalls that we first experienced when we tried this years ago, i told her that she didn’t need to act out the Domme part, just to be herself. I said that it was impossible for me to suppress my submissive feelings, and that i needed to express them in the form of obedient service to her, in a female led relationship.

“If you could live with me Bella, and accept that this expression is something i need to sate my own sexuality, then i think we’d be over a huge hurdle for making this work.”

She smiled, and i think is just entirely happy that quite possibly she and i could remain together forever. She hasn’t openly accepted my invitation to giving this a try, but her actions tell me she’s ready to accept my submission and quite possibly see where this will go.

Hardwired Submissive Man

Originally posted 2006-08-18 12:34:35. Republished by Old Post Promoter

I can really empathize with how princeofmyqueen felt when he wrote this:

I am living this life-style, not because I get a kick out of it, but because I believe that my beautiful Queen is superior to me in all aspects of life. I therefore have no problem to submit to her and in fact it gives me a sense of belonging. My beautiful Queen has always been a Lady as far as my submitting to her is concerned – She is strict, but She has never been cruel to me or behaved unladylike in all of this and for that I deeply love and obey Her. The problem that I have is now matter how much you live the life-style or how much reinforcement you get you still needs some down-time now and then. If you follow a highly stressful professional life you will not be able to keep to this life-style without down-time. If try to do this you will inevitably end up disrespecting your Queen and then She will make you pay for that. It is now specific for this reason that I have now arrange an out of town business trip to get my mind of things. Hopefully, when I come back in a few days time I will have regained my vision, as far as respecting and obeying my beautiful Queen is concerned

My Beautiful Queen

Originally posted 2006-05-31 14:13:04. Republished by Old Post Promoter

Duncan writes of coming to appreciate the loving Domme:

As I matured and explored I began to realize that control and kink are nothing to me if not shared with a woman who loves me and cares about my welfare as much as she cares about her own. This is not a diatribe against professional dominants nor is it a criticism of women who selfishly take without regard to their partners’ desires and needs. Certainly there are those men who accept and even want to be treated as less important. There are those for whom dominance has little to do with a relationship. At one time I thought those men were the lucky ones because women such as those are not difficult to find.

One Guy’s Point of View

Originally posted 2006-12-25 06:42:20. Republished by Old Post Promoter

There is no form of writing about kink that something that shows great self-awareness:

To illustrate the importance of this concept, I have a story (I’m sorry, M, for using this story over and over, but this experience went so far in helping me resolve the many submissive paradoxes, and I want you to know I dearly appreciate that). When I was M’s slave, there was one time when she asked me to do something, and I replied, “is that an order?” I wanted it to be an order; it’s deeply sexy to me to be controlled and forced to do things whether I want to or not. She replied (heavy paraphrase), “I don’t want to order you to do this, I just want you to do it.” She had her own reasons for saying this and her own powerful needs, and believe me, I don’t intend to belittle them.

I want to think of myself as a generous person, but I’m not a submissive out of generosity. I’m a submissive because it’s hot to me and fills deep needs that can’t be satisfied any other way. Part of that submissiveness (I don’t know how big a part) is wanting to feel controlled, just as part of being in love is needing to be loved (which I also need). And if I’m in a relationship, even a power exchange relationship, and I’m not getting what I need, then I must change something.

But how do you beg/manipulate/negotiate/magically summon control from someone who wants to control you, but has their own needs they’re trying to meet with that run not-quite-parallel to directly controlling you?

…

The Slave Within

Originally posted 2007-09-02 12:15:15. Republished by Old Post Promoter

A submissive man explains why he like the idea of her paying attention to other men:

This fantasy is about two things. Firstly, it’s about enjoying the female power of my mistress. It’s the joy of her experiencing her sexuality, her attraction to others, and the power she holds in their attraction to her. It’s affirming her as a sexual being outwith the confines of the relationship; someone worth desiring; someone worth serving.

But it’s also about our relationship. It’s about sharing something. It’s about the submission of granting her this right, outside the normal boundaries of a relationship, while asking nothing similar for myself. It’s about submission gifted and dominance joyfully received.

The Sub Scribe

Originally posted 2008-01-25 15:27:50. Republished by Old Post Promoter